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the following were written during the intermission of the poetry reading i attended earlier this evening.

///

had i read more than one book by bukowski
and a wide array of anarchist political commentary
my romance’s description would be
much more effective
much more evocative
and my memory can be selectively hazy
splintering the long grain of those happy times
and their abrupt endings.
(i fell for it twice)
at least i remember that much.
but why is it
those are the things i remember most?
those parts that disappoint me the most?
how about that one time we did that thing
and she was happy?
how about that one time when she said,
“will you please vote, just this once?”
“no,” i replied.
“he has a lock on maryland anyway,
“so be happy.”
but instead, she was upset.
the hazy memory certainly has no problem
recalling her confession
of commitment anxiety
of my rolling eyes
of our clumsy, beer-botched reunion
of my deliberate denial, concealing the truth:
we wanted one another, but we didn’t know why.

a hunk of rock, hurtling through space
infected with an interstellar virus
that corrupts the nervous system
compelling us to jackassery.

///

i don’t really understand
political stuff
of that, i am fairly sure

Tags: personal, poetry, politics, writing // Add Comment »

A few months ago I started getting involved with group called “Finding Our Roots: Midwest Anarchist Organizing.” I sat through meetings with the folks that I thought would be on the same page as me. I heard proposals on “Tribal Sovereignty,” “Race and Anarchism,” “Bicycle Workshops,” “Democracy vs. Consensus,” there was nothing about organizing. To them anarchist organizing was about “us” as anarchists or it was about what “others” are or should be doing. They could only talk about the “others” in tribes or in races that weren’t represented; they could only talk about the way anarchists govern themselves and about the culture of the left through bikes or recycling or gardening.I had come to believe that anarchism was about working class power, but the political concerns of these anarchists made me question this belief. I spent years like Mao’s frog at the bottom of a well. I stared up at the sky and saw something so small. I saw the world of the folks at “finding our roots.” My life made me jump out and see the world around. Our struggle is so big. We are so small and we have so much to do. I felt all alone as the ideology of half my life faded away.

although it’s somewhat disappointing to see that this person seems to stratify the concept of ‘anarchist’ while simultaneously proclaiming the world around him is not ‘black or white, but various shades of grey,’ it is still a thought-provoking read. i completely empathize with the disconnect between wanting to work for social change with a handful of others who might be ideologically aligned with you, but who want to spend their time sitting around and smoking pot instead of making a change. it’s so much easier to do work on your own and not rely on others, but the true dilemma is that a single person really isn’t much of a movement.

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the pop culture blogosphere is beginning to see the light, so to speak.

one of my favourite internet writers finally accused obama of a misstep.  finally. and never mind the later bit about the racists complaining that the local grocery store wasn’t able to have a cake made featuring their child’s name on it; kid happened to be named after the figurehead and chief engineer of the most blatantly barbaric attempts at genocide in modern history.

dude is just another politician; he does not walk on water, he does not possess any special powers (except obviously a superior command of the english language) any more than our current president.   his cabinet is the same type of cadre of elites and power shufflers.  his voting record on all the topics he bandied about during his campaign, and the subsequent ‘moderate’ shift in treatment of policy, speaks to his lack of authenticity.

but why o why did it take so long?  i agree that obama’s election is a cultural phenomenon worth celebrating, but as the same old players are aligning in the positions of power, as the combative and restrictive policies are being reinforced by the presence of political lackeys, like so many stars in the northern sky, his ascendancy will not considerably (or dare i say, positively) alter the political landscape of this country.  i wish people would stop thinking so (and trying to convince me of it); constantly being reminded of my lack of hope for change grinds away at the soul.

Tags: politics // 2 Comments »

i realize now that, back when i wrote the reply to this message (a handful of questions sent to me via the hac’s myspace page), my mind had already been made up to step down from the board. this was perhaps two weeks ago, or a week or so prior to when i submitted my resignation. it’s worth a read for those interested in creating their own d.i.y. space.

///

Here are some answers to your questions you sent to our MySpace account; hopefully they’re sufficient.
1. When/how did the Hamilton Arts Collective begin and why?

I’d been working with a grassroots community theatre group in the same building in which we operate now starting in January of 2003, and that theatre company dissolved at the end of February 2006. We were very close to completing the paperwork needed to become a non-profit organization, so I decided to keep things going in that same space. I started the Hamilton Arts Collective (the HAC) with a handful of other creative friends of mine in March of 2006. We were all a bunch of theatre, music-making, and filmmaking junkies, and we liked the idea of hosting our own shows. While in the theatre company, I’d created a model for a hosting program for artists that needed a place to perform, and we decided to carry on that model into the future. Later we partnered with several groups, most notably the Herring Run Artists Network, who were instrumental in creating the art gallery we have. Other performance-based partnerships (such as with Baltimore Improv Group, MT6 Records, and Hole In The Wall Cabaret) all came about eventually because we’d hosted several shows of theirs over time.

Our mission statement has stayed the same ever since we started this: create a safe space for performers of all types to present their works; promote our neighbourhood creative pursuits and businesses by bringing activity to the area; keep everything as affordable as possible to all involved. It’s been great for our area, and it’s a mission statement I can truly stand behind.

2. What are the advantages/disadvantages of being a DIY space - how have you dealt with problems in the past?

The main advantage is that you can do whatever the hell you want to do. Want to have a zombie b-horror movie marathon? No problem. Want to host a live music show featuring bands you’ve never heard before? Absolutely. Want to host a board game night and potluck? Go right ahead.

Of course, the disadvantages emerge once the authorities catch wind that you’re having public assembly in a space they deem unsafe for large groups of people.

3. Have you ever faced any problems with the law/licensing issues?

Quite a few actually, and in fact our performance space is currently closed for renovation now that we need to address a laundry list of fire-code compliance issues presented to us by the fire inspector. I remember the week the captain of the northeast district of police came up to the performance space while I was readying it for a show; he brought the sergeant in charge of permits and licenses up with him on his second visit that week, and in a matter of minutes said the space was closed down. Just like that, our months of work vaporized. It was pretty heartbreaking to me, personally.

When we started the HAC, we had no idea what we were doing. We didn’t care or investigate things such as zoning policies, local ordinances, fire code laws, or any other regulations. The only concerns of ours, honestly, were making sure the theatre space was smoke free, there was no under-age drinking (we were a BYOB establishment), and there were no illegal drugs. We figured that the latter two reasons were the only way we would have been shut down.

I really think the only reason we were shut down, in fact, was that we’d started to become successful. We’d generated a lot of positive attention to our neighbourhood, and our show calendar was packed months in advance. We’d set up space-sharing partnerships and regular gigs with upstanding, reputable groups in town, such as the partnerships mentioned earlier. But perhaps if we’d stayed a little more small-time, we would have survived longer. Now that we’re out in the open and actually attempting to become legitimate, the city has stepped in, requiring us to pay for licenses, building renovations, and permits we simply can’t afford. If we refuse to comply, they’ll just bring in the cops again.

In the meantime, I’ve been hosting shows once a month in my backyard, using the HAC’s sound system to amplify the live music and films we show. It’s more like a house party than anything else, complete with bonfire, s’mores, a tent in the event it rains or snows, and a potluck/BYOB acumen for which everyone contributes. The shows have been very well-received, and although I think their time is coming to an end, I’ve not regretted investing my time and energy into them.

4. How has the poor economy affected the HAC?

I’m concerned about the solvency of the art gallery, to be honest, as they’ve not been able to turn a profit by selling their works. But the truth remains that Baltimore is brimming over with talent, and as we’d operated with low costs anyway (charging five bucks admission for most shows, and splitting all profits with the performers 50/50), I’m confident that we would still have our calendar packed each month and we’d pay the bills on time, no problem. We’re all volunteers, so it’s not like we wouldn’t be able to afford to pay our staff; the events we host are compensation in themselves.

///

i was interviewed earlier in the year by an acquaintance of mine and talented young man, nicky o. smith. he later used the interview in a short film project. although it was criticized as somewhat lacking in terms of coverage and depth of relevant information (it didn’t include material featuring members of the longest-running, currently open d.i.y. space in baltimore), it still contains a variety of first-person accounts of maintaining a d.i.y. space and is well worth a look. also, he made it appear as though i’m not a complete idiot whenever i open my mouth, which is an impressive accomplishment by any measure.

Tags: cops, personal, politics, the hac, video, writing // Add Comment »

Follow this link to view a video on barry cooper’s new television show: kop busters.

i remember when this guy’s video came out, and how the flex your rights foundation lambasted him for advocating that citizens consent to searches of their vehicles during routine traffic stops. i also gave him a tough time on a public message board (not that it matters, honestly; i was acting the part of a f.y.r. fanboy), even going as far as accusing him of being a mole for the police department. this television show of his is impressive, and goes a long way in proving that he is what he says he is: a reformed police officer willing to show the corruption rife in his and other local police jurisdictions.

though i still don’t agree with his stance on consenting to police searches, hopefully he’ll have a chance to continue the show and spread the ideas of both drug decriminalization and corrupt police to the public at large.

Tags: cops, drugs, politics, pranks, privacy, rights, terrorism, video // Add Comment »

received this in an e-mail from one of my colleagues at a pre-release unit.

I have an inmate who has 11 children. Her mother has 5 and her boyfriend has 3. She has a child in foster care now that is 5, the father has been fighting for custody of the child since the child was born. The inmate stated the child was taken from her at the hospital due to her drug addiction. Her boyfriend and mother were trying to get custody but the judge would not award custody to either of them because he said, “Ms. ___ keeps having babies and the mother or boyfriend gets custody. I’m going to stop this cycle.” And he put the child up for adoption. The child was adopted. Now, the adoptive parents were charged with abusing their own child so now both children(the adoptive parents’ child and Ms. ___’s daughter) are in foster care. Can your program help her or can you refer me to someone?

any suggestions?

Tags: day job, drugs, economy, politics // Add Comment »

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the following was written the evening of saturday, 29th november, 2008.

///

once again, i almost fell into the trap of “marveling at the immense size of the universe, and just how insignificant we humans are.” that last part is written in quotation marks because it’s already been written by so many others innumerable times throughout history. even it’s acknowledgment is a dusty old chestnut by now (to borrow yet another hackneyed truism). the truth is that i realized, having been well aware of the notion already, i found myself in a situation where people often come to that realization when until that point, they’d remained ignorant of the acknowledgment.

as in many other instances of deep thought, i was on vacation. i’d retreated from the urban landscape for a handful of days, spending them at a friend’s family’s cabin nestled in the wooded hills of central pennsylvania. i’d experienced a number of natural phenomena that simply don’t occur much at all, if ever, in the city:

-viewing the ‘grand canyon of the east’ just outside of woodboro, pennsylvania;
-seeing the nebulae of the vast expanse of space in the clear night sky (which definitely doesn’t happen in cities due to the copious ambient light from streetlights and buildings, among other man-made sources of illumination);
-watching the fire of a woodburning stove.

it was during the last of these three that i realized i was at the point where the insignificance of humankind was supposed to engulf me in some sort of paradigm-altering burst of enlightenment. it was then that a newly-birthed wave of either wonder or despair was to engulf my consciousness.

but it didn’t happen.

instead, simultaneously as i stared with glazed eyes into the firebox in front of me, i was thinking of ways i could describe the processes of the natural world to young people . watching the logs, as thick as my arm, smoulder, catch aflame, and finally reduce to dust and luminescent coals, prodded me into that procession of thought.

i would take the young people i wanted to inspire out to a broad field, or if necessary someone’s front yard. i’d ask each of them to look closely at a blade of grass or a weed or something–some solitary shoot of green that is part of this world. i would observe which of them would actually pick the blade of grass, instead of simply observing it. i would then show them a dried piece of grass, letting them know that one day, all the grass they see–here and elsewhere–will look and feel as blown, dry, and brittle as this.

i would show them a broken branch, explaining that there are plants that grow many times larger than those single blades of grass; we all know them as trees. in fact, that would be my next step: showing them a tree; how it can reach many feet high into the sky, stretch itself deep into the earth, and shed its small branches one by one, until it too would entirely fall, dry and brittle.

a log would be next; the youth would be asked to look closely at the dried, split wood, comprised of hundreds of thousands of straw-like growths bundled together within a harder outer covering of bark. i would drop the log into a burning fire, to show them how the wood is eventually consumed as i had described before (and how you, gentle reader, has no doubt observed upon any number of occasions). the lesson would culminate in perhaps the most unremarkable image of them all: a handful of wood ash.

this is where the magnanimous, pompous part comes in…”and here they are, the teeming masses of humanity, believing themselves to be the paragon of advancement! how conceited! (i used to think) how full of themselves, of their own bloated sense of self-worth, importance… (and so on; i’m sure you catch my drift) humanity must be ashamed of itself! …thinking they’re all that and a bag of chips!”

how boring.

i could simply remark, “you think you’re so important? so what. nobody gives a fuck about you.” that’s a bit too short-sighted, even for a simpleton such as myself. there is plenty for which humanity has cause to feel pride. they have produced many an advancement that no other known species on this planet can claim. i hesitate, as i may come across less “cautiously optimistic” and more “misanthropic,” to draw attention to humanity’s truly stunning capability to end life, for which this world has seen no deliberate parallel. but that is only one of humankind’s many, many achievements.

the main point here is that humanity has a long way to go. this is no cause for shame. however, this does not mean we’ve earned cause for celebration. one might argue that humankind’s greatest achievement is its seemingly limitless capacity to delude itself. well, that and the ingenious marketing campaigns that help convince the majority of the remainder. once we move past those, and start embracing our next grand accomplishment(s), then i might find myself more than just cautiously optimistic. but what is one person’s opinion, or the force that causes its alteration, after all?

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let-off studios is proud to present Frontier! , a game completed with multimedia fusion 2.

ABOUT THE GAME:
“The edge of the kingdom is surrounded by wilderness of all kinds. Your dream is to claim some of these lands as your own. Now, with the endorsement of the king behind you, the opportunity is within your grasp! Defend the kingdom’s borders, defeat the inhuman hordes that plague your newfound lands, and return to the king with the most impressive tribute you can muster!”

FRONTIER! is a fast-paced real-time strategy and action game (made with a retro VGA graphical theme), where you play the part of a military captain on the fringes of a medieval fantasy empire. You must build up your resources, upgrade your fortress’ facilities, and train military units to defeat the encroaching enemy creatures: the inhuman horde. At the end of the game, you will be scored on a combination of how much gold you’ve acquired, how much of the resources you possess, the number of soldiers you’ve trained, the number of enemies defeated, and how long it took you to finally destroy the enemy barrow. There are three levels of accomplishment…can you claim the king’s highest honour?

There is a detailed readme file included in the ZIP file download, which explains the controls and more details about playing this game (which is surprisingly deep).

This game was completed late November, 2008, by the let-off studios collective. It was inspired by the old-skool VGA DOS games such as Castles! and Stronghold, with a fine smattering of fantasy gaming thrown in there for good measure. Originally this was to be our first pure RTS title, modeled after an untitled game released by Don Luciano on The Daily Click website (www.create-games.com). We couldn’t help but add in a few classic arcade touches, though, so the resulting game is fresh, innovative, and quite entertaining in a number of ways. We hope you enjoy playing it as much as we enjoyed making it.

Frontier! is compatible with windows PCs and Unix machines running a Windows emulator. Be sure to read the included readme file for more success with the game.

Click here to download the latest version of Frontier!

Click on an image below to see an enlarged version of each screenshot.

Tags: game-making, music, sycla // Add Comment »

there’s a lot of talk about how the new president of the united states is going to answer all our ‘hopes’ and create a truly ‘changed’ life in the u.s.  at least i’m not alone in thinking those sorts of claims are bogus.  i found an acute speculation on his cabinet and chief staffpersons, and it only confirms my suspicions that although his incoming presidency may precipitate a genuine change in the cultural landscape of the country, it points to business as usual in all other aspects of politics.  For example:

it’s a disappointing situation to behold: once again, a radical change in policies is alluded to, and when the people of the country are so desperate for a break, any change is seen as a good change.  too bad skin colour isn’t significant in terms of determining political policy.  on the surface there appears to be significant change, but beyond the cover, this is a book we’ve all read before.

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