a night at the (horrible) movies

a better ending to inception:

cobb was actually living in his own dream world, and all those with whom he interacted were ‘projections’ from his own subconscious; his wife repeatedly attempted to rescue him from his delusional existence by invading his dreams and doing things that would hopefully shake him out of his magic reality (like killing the young business executive in the winter fortress, for example). meanwhile, the subconscious projection of his wife continues to delude him even further, making him continue to think that he was responsible for her death. in reality, she is still alive and he’s the one still asleep. he eventually wakes up, his wife standing over him, realizing that as much as he had attempted to analyze dream-state behaviour, he was still wrong.

the film was a disappointment. i thought–half-way through–that i had predicted the ending, but when the movie ended i realized that a better ending was possible. for some reason, i became incredibly irritated by that fact, perhaps because it was so over-hyped to me. i’m three for three in terms of seeing awful big-budget films this year. i think i’m done for the next six months, at least; friends, please don’t bother me about them until january.

and now, a transcript of recent text messages between a friend of mine and me, regarding my recent viewing of inception.

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me: i figured you would be one of my only friends who [would be impressed that i] came up with a better ending for -inception-. film was bad, ending was utter poop.

friend: aaaah interesting. haven’t seen it yet but a lot of folks i know were wild about it. you are right that i can do better than poop.

me: i recommend you skip it. a ball-less turd of a film.

friend: i didn’t realize turds had balls in the first place! i learn so much from our friendship.

me: well, only in a world where turds have balls could a rube like me fashion a better ending to any film, hollywood blockbuster or otherwise.

friend: well then i guess turds everywhere swing their balls with abandon.

me: you know this, [friend]. try not to dwell on it, though. think happy thoughts, and hold not hollywood to any scrutiny whatsoever.

friend: i tend not to and will try not to think of ball swinging turds.

me: aha! you found a way to beat the movies!!! ps: i apologize for being on such a tear about this.

friend: haha no worries, you are always welcome to free associate.

2 Responses to “a night at the (horrible) movies”

  1. Steve, I like your ending better.

  2. yeah, it’s a lot better…which is also why it sucks!!!

    in any case, thanks for the kudos, alex. :)

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